The word itself sends a form of shock down the spine upon comprehending its true meaning. Even though it is usually the low key, muted form of acrimony and unhappiness, RESENTMENT should not be allowed in your relationship. It starts like a cold war, and then boom!! it goes breaking out uncontrollably like a wildfire in harmattan.
This is because eventually, that muted displeasure will keep piling in your mind till it becomes too hot to hold in. The days, weeks, months and probably years of unexpressed bitterness usually leads to emotional outbursts that may ruin things beyond reconciliation.
So it is important that partners should always avoid things that could lead to resentment, a well known poison to relationship happiness. In order to successfully steer your relationship towards stability and happiness, here are the five killer factors to avoid in relationships.
1. Not speaking your mind
Like I said, it is dangerous to be the partner who never speaks his or her mind. Holding in your feelings, fears, unhappiness and so on will only make things worse. Are you feeling somehow about what your partner says or does to you, or some way they act in general which makes you uncomfortable? Come on buddy why not spit it out! Refusal to do this might cause resentment to build in you, thereby affecting the balance of your relationship with them.
2. Not being listened to
When your partner expresses their opinions and you ignore them, you make them feel worthless and undervalued. Guess what this results to… of course your guess is as good as mine(Resentment). And while a refusal to speak their mind may be on them, the fault will be yours if they do speak up but you never take their feelings into considerations.
3. Not being appreciative
Everyone wants to feel valued, appreciated. She wants to hear about how much you value her. He also wants to feel like he counts, that his efforts are appreciated and that his presence counts and makes a difference in your life. Be anything but an ingrate, you are the only one who knows how to appreciate your partner. You need to make them have this feel of playing an important part in your life no matter how little it may look before you. That reassurance is good for your relationship. Don’t leave on assumption because it kills softly like cancer.
4. Too many failed promises
When you consistently break promises made to the one you claim to love, it really does something awful to your relationship with them. If you can’t keep a promise, your partner will lose faith in you and that’s not good for your relationship. Though no one is perfect but if you can’t keep a promise as to a particular context,then I advice you don’t voice it out.
5. Unmatched efforts
Love is likened to a coin, a two faced round object that either face cannot exist alone. If in a relationship, one person keeps trying, keeps pushing for a better relationship, better communication, and better everything while the other plays lukewarm, believe me resentment will surely set in. Being inconsistent, lackadaisical and complacent is not good for your relationship. Trust me you need to think twice.
@Okafor Victor Ifeanyi Chinwatakweaku